It is that time of year when kids get attacked by hordes of bored leprechauns. These leprechauns must have to have nothing better to do than annoy the shit out of kids, move their stuff around and make a mess in general. Aren’t they supposed to be drinking and protecting gold at the end of rainbows or something? I also would like to know why leprechauns never came to annoy the shit out of kids in Australia. I went to St. Patricks Primary School (yes, catholic school girl) and I reckon for the amount of St Patricks knowledge that was fed to me I DESERVED a visit from a stupid leprechaun – if for no other reason than to make wearing a uniform with a shamrock on it more relevant to everyday life. I mean, I clearly see a link between Jesus, St Patrick and leprechaun, but hey, I will leave that Venn diagram infograph up to the masters online.

Today leprechauns came and messed up shit at my daughter’s daycare. Kids are supposed to find visits from creatures like these to be happy and exciting, aren’t they? Guess that’s not always the case.  After their visit today a rebellion was started  - of course led by my kid. She decided to rally the other kids at daycare today in taking a stand against leprechauns.

She was most upset at the fact that one little green fucker had put her sparkly shoe up on top of the cabinet where her teacher kept “her stuff from her wedding”. Leprechauns make shoes. Maybe they were studying one for a new design and then pitched it up high to reach their predetermined level of mischief for the day? No one messes with the sparkly shoes, let alone a creature that looks like this:

My kid decided that they needed to sort out these green creatures from Ireland, so she of course choose to rationalize with them by writing a note. She also talked the other kids at daycare into the same idea. They wrote a note – sort of. They are young so writing is hard for them so they used their teacher Ni Ni to help tell the leprechauns to piss off. Here is the note , I only left one name on it as this kid decided that that was her name for the day and good luck tracking down “Cuddles”.

So here’s the deal, leprechauns. Don’t mess with my kids. They will hunt you down and destroy you, but only after demanding their wishes and after asking very nicely for you to leave them the hell alone.

Cuddles on the other hand… Cuddles might not ask. Cuddles might just destroy.

Now will someone get to making my damn Venn diagram?